im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
