Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
