What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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