mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
