i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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