it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
