so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
