Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
