If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just cropdusted the office
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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