I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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