What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
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They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is my gift to your gina
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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