drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
