Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
