A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
