Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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