Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
