she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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