Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
