butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
