I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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