BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
