I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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