My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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