I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
