Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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