in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He passed out mid-signature
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
