Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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