I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
