why do cheetos always look like penises
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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