Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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