Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
