I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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