I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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