In the future we'll all be gay
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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