Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
