Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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