the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
