I wanna passion pit in your ass
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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