you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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