I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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