a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
