When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
