I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
