Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
