Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I need moral support for this bender
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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