so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
