I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
