So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
