I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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