your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize