For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
