you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
