Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
