whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize