it was like eating out sand paper
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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