Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
