I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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