I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize