Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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