just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
