I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
