Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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