dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
