What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize