very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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