these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize